2012, 2029, 2034 and 2068

2012

Alas!!! The world is going to end. But wait, only in maybe 4 or 5 billion years : our Sun is getting old and eventually it WILL engulf the earth. Not in 2012, contrary to what movie producers(and directors), pseudo-scientists, frauds and hoaxers and people who know as much fact as Paris Hilton knows about Geeth say.

So, apparently there exists a mysterious piece of space-junk called ‘Nibiru‘ thats supposed to hurtle into earth or merely nudge it. So this Nibiru follows a very weird orbit around the Sun and enters the inner solar system every now and then. Long long long ago, (apparently) a collision between this phantom planet and another ‘created’ the Earth and the asteroid belt. And also, ‘astronauts’ from Nibiru , created modern man.

Right, and I’m the next Dalai Lama.
Also, there might be geomagnetic storms(what are they?), a Pole reversal, and a new-found unsteadiness in the planet’s crust. I wonder what ‘new-found’ exactly means. Its not like our crust is the most stable currently…

Anyway, much of this hubbub also draws meaning from the Mayan calendar. The date Dec 21, 2012 marks an end of their periodic cycle that’s about 400 years long. But that is simply not enough reason to think the Mayans intended it to be the end of the world as we know it.
Anyway, its a periodic CYCLE!!! I somehow am led to think the Mayan Calendar will just restart after 2012. Isn’t that what cycle means?

The ground-reality of the whole situation is, yeah we’re in a very unfriendly environment : black holes, gamma ray bursts, exploding stars, asteroids and comets that seek to plunge into the Sun but get intercepted by Earth. But get this : we’re in a very nice, charming little French village-zone of the universe. This is not half as bad as it could get.

Quite obviously, Nibiru does not exist. If it did, even Galileo would have spotted it, way way back. And if he had missed, lets not forget the thousands of amateur and professional astronomers who do nothing but gaze into the sky these days. And also our very own Hubble. It’s not that hard to miss a weirdo who doesn’t even follow orbital rules.
And as for the Mayans..well basically they don’t exist anymore so I don’t give a damn about some non-existent civilizations’ calendar..

My opinion is that the 2012 as the end of the world gag is a mix of sensationalism, modern mysticism and Hollywood opportunism. In other words, its a hoax yelling “ima hoax”.

2029, 2034 and 2068??

Apparently there’s this nasty little asteroid called Apophis thats about 300m big. So what it’s gonna do is make a really close pass by our Earth in 2029. By really close pass I mean a hair raising 20000km. But good scientists are SURE this critter will miss Earth.
Then its going to come again in 2034 and miss us. Again. By nearly the same space-hair’s breadth. That’s going to give me a lot of sleepless nights, for sure.
Yes, you’re right. This thing loves us so its going to come back yet again in 2068 only this time our brainiacs are not sure if its even going to be IN 2068 or whether or not it will miss us. Apparently even 2068 is just an estimate. Oh no!!

I can surely expect a film titled 2068 sometime in the future.

About Butt Chocolate

Perennially jobless. Eternally Vetti. Totally Awesome.

Posted on March 20, 2011, in The Serious Stuff. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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