Mythbusting The Supermoon

The moon is a mysterious body that exists an astronaut filled-rockets throw away from Earth. Its so mysterious, we had no clue about the shit that went on in it (nothing at all goes on in or on it, actually) till 70 years ago. We don’t know what it does, why it does it and when it does. We don’t even see half of it EVER. It shows only one of its faces to us. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THINGS DEAL THEN?


It is going to eat that plane now


Now, according to all websites/internet pundits/news channels screamingthemselves shrill and hoarse, the recent Japanese Tsunami and Earthquake or [Insert Recent Natural Disaster] happened because the moon was “going to be” a supermoon, coming oh-so-close to the Earth, and messing around with it in general.



So naturally, being supervetti, I googled around a bit (read : only the first page of every search) and accordingly came up with a conclusion : bullshit.



Press the red button to call bullshit.



Firstly, this is not just any super moon. It’s an extreme super moon, in the same way Gran Turismo 5 is “extreme” compared to Gran Turismo 4, or Mountain Dew makes you “extreme”.Therefore, every time the word “supermoon” is mentioned here, you know I mean “EXTREME SUPERMOON”. notes that “Supermoons are known to occur about every 20 years” but screws that up by saying “The last supermoon occurred in 2005..”.





According to, out of 13 “supermoons” from 1900, 54% had natural disasters and 46% did not. As opposed to going OMG THE ODDS ARE IN FAVOR OF DISASTER AAAAHH, its easier to conclude that the disasters just happened to happen around the date a supermoon (or lunar perigee) happened. Just one happened exactly on the date said supermoon occurred.


You can associate any natural disaster with just about anything. For example, Swarun could say that he woke up at precisely 8:03:26 am on Jan 26, 2001, December 26, 2004 and 11 March, 2011 and assume that his waking up directly led to 3 horrible earthquakes. That’s exactly how this is.



Everytime Homer J Simpson eats a doughnut and I fart, it snows.



Also, the writer there notes that “disaster” is defined in various ways. What exactly is a deadly disaster? What are the criteria for a disaster to be deadly? Even though his list is not fully comprehensive, its safe to assume that supermoons and the so called “deadly” disasters occur completely independently of each other, and any simultaneous occurrence can be attributed to some astronomical fucking around, also called “probability and odds”.



Thou art a BITCH, probability.



The Discovery blog says that there are usually more than ten lunar perigees a year, which reinforces the point that if at all disasters and freaking wild weather happen exactly when the moon is full, big and close to Earth, then its a coincidence, otherwise its meaningless.


Infact, the during the devastating earthquake in Japan, the moon was much further away elliptically than it would be on March 19th, thereby the gravitational force from the moon would have been normal, leading to a normal lunar day with normal tides and other normal….moon things.


Mr. Moon also does not in anyway influence the workings of Gaia (and her earthquakes and volcanic explosions). So despite the terrible Dec 26th tsunami occurring a freaky 2 weeks before the 2005 “supermoon”, I’m sure the Earth decided to just “fuck it” and shake. They DO influence tides heavily however, so coastal areas will have some problems, but not more than what they will usually have.


Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is : this is nonsense. Of course I am totally piqued to know if at all anything catastrophic will happen (because humans are jerks), my interest having arose from all the blahblah about this recently.

And says the only thing a supermoon is even good for, is for taking photographs. I will be ready with my camera.



Bring it, Moon

About Butt Chocolate

Perennially jobless. Eternally Vetti. Totally Awesome.

Posted on March 20, 2011, in Everything Else. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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