And suddenly, outta nowhere, the once familiar fragrance wafted through the air and filled up her nostrils……a fragrance that brought a hundred memories flashing back to her mind. Almost instantly, as if by default, her eyes welled up with tears. She sighed. Her determination not to let the tears slip somehow gave way always. She was beginning to get tired of crying almost every minute of her waking moment. The memories have been haunting her for quite sometime now, shattering her peace and as much as she tried to bury them, there was always one thing or another that made it resurface and destroy her peace again.
Today, it was the fragrance. She was perched atop the balcony in the terrace. It was well past midnight. What she was possibly doing at this time on the terrace was a question she asked herself every time she found her way here; but failed to answer it. She seemed to be directed towards deserted places where she can spend time alone. With herself. But for what good is something she cannot tell.
She honestly could not believe it. Nobody would either believe the strange possibility of some random perfume smell wafting through the air in the dead of the night. She sometimes thought she simply imagined these possibilities. But no, this was real. She could smell it! What more proof could she look for to convince herself that her sanity is indeed still intact?!
The perfume. The perfume she used Then. She convinced herself (with great difficulty) that she’s not entitled to term those days more than “Then” . The minute she realized that it reminded her of “those days” she threw the bottle away. breaking it into pieces to ensure that it wont come back after her. Perhaps it was coming back? No no. It couldn’t have pieced back all the pieces all by itself and most definitely could not find its way back to her of all people in the world.
Suddenly realizing what she was actually thinking, she smiled bitterly. I am going bonkers really, she thought. She looked around, insanely hoping to find the source of the perfume when she knew it was a vain effort. Nobody in their right mind would frantically search for something as lame as a fragrance in the air. She smiled up at the sky, a bitter smile with a silent prayer saying Help me! and walked to her bed where she popped one of those sleeping pills into her mouth and slowly got into bed hoping and praying, as she’s been doing everyday for the past month, for a better tomorrow…..