The Most Important Blog Post I’ve Ever Made

So I’ve been hearing whispers of a new changed IT law in India that absolutely contradicts our fundamental freedoms. Because FUCK the Congress, they can do anything except solve corruption in their ranks. They’re creating such a ruckus to make one chindi law that’s been around in the waiting for 42 years, but this law has been passed quietly. What law is it?

It’s the amended IT Act. It was passed in the first week of April, also known as the worst week in April for the Congress. That was the time when the good Anna Hazare totally slam-dunked them.

Under this Act, search engines (WHAT?), cybercafes, telecom operators (like Airtel/Vodafone), webhosts (like WordPress itself) and ISP’s, (like MTNL/BSNL) – anybody who provides any digital communication service – are termed as intermediaries.

The new rules require all of them to put in place agreements prohibiting users from all Internet activity relating to any material which is, according to the Law, “grossly harmful” or “harassing” or “blasphemous” (I KNEW WE’D GO THE PAKISTANI WAY! WOHOO) or “insulting any other nation” (LIKE STUPID FUCKING PAKISTAN).

Unfortunately, nobody knows what “grossly harmful” means or how it is different from just harmful. Nobody knows what “blasphemy” could mean. If I make a satirical version of the Ramayana, am I being blasphemous?

WTF dudes, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.

So, let’s get to the main part. Within 36 hours of being informed of this, the “intermediary” must remove the “offensive material”. It can terminate access rights – which means if we do what the Government suddenly just vaguely defined as “bullshit”, then they can ban us from the Internets for good.

Yes I said Internets.

Also, when required by lawful order, the Government can actually demand user information from the intermediary. The personal info rules, apparently to “protect” our privacy, should not be disclosed unless demanded for by the Government (Read : Congress, BJP and all those stupid assholes who don’t know bullshit about the Internet). And if demanded for by the Government, then they SHOULD disclose it. Compulsory. Otherwise GTFO.

Adding all those little parts together, the rules allow the Government to demand access to everything and anything we do online, ban us from doing it if they think its wrong, because the law is vague, and also arrest us upto a maximum of 7 years in jail without chance of appeal for it.

To quote Turkish from the movie Snatch : Now, we are fucked.

Our “beloved” Government occasionally tries blocking what they deem to be objectionable (such as the Savita Bhabhi porn comic) through the Computer Emergency Response Team of India, or CERT-IN. They censor porn, obviously, because Indians have the Taliban/China/Pakistan to look upto and emulate and because we have such a horrifyingly misplaced sense of morals.

And they also censor any objectionable material about historical figures (like Mahatma or Nehru). Because what the Government says is true and what EVERYONE says is false.

FUCK THIS SHIT!! THIS IS BECOMING LIKE CHINA AND I HATE CHINA!! I WANT TO LEAVE INDIA MAN!! STUPID FUCKING INDIA SUCKS!!

But no one cares, for fuck’s sake. I don’t even know why I’m blogging this. I just am, so that if you care, you’ll probably be careful about what you say on the Internet now. You’re probably being monitored. You = everyone, me included.

Why did the Goverment create this heinous law?

Mostly because of their retarded assumption that the Internet is completely unregulated, so they’re trying to regulate it by making fucked up rules. Secondly, they feel the very existence of the Internet threatens the Government. I mean, after what happened in Egypt they must have been very alarmed indeed :

“Via Facebook? The site where all those young lukhas waste their time? OMG OMG OMG DO SOMETHING QUICK!!”

They don’t realize that the Internet is the most significant and most important invention man has made in communication since writing and talking. Snail mail has declined. Information is readily available. We can talk things on the Internet what we can’t talk in public.

And the Government automatically assumes all this talking-online-what-we-can’t-talk-in-real-life is “wrong” and “illegal”.

Agreed, sometimes people misuse the anonymity that the Internet provides (by being FUCKING HORRIBLE JERKS), but most of the time, its just a great forum to talk with like minded people on the other side of the world and know things. It’s a great forum to vent you feelings. If you abuse the Government on the road, people will think you’re mental. You may also get arrested. Beaten up. Laughed at.

But if you do it on the Internet, typing in caps lock, some people will solemnly agree with you.

And they’re trying to prevent that.

Because they feel threatened.

Let’s stop here just for a second.

It’s not like no country has tough laws. Every country does. Heck if you download bootlegged movies off the Internet and are found, FBI agents will come knocking at your door in the US and arrest you. They have “bandwith caps”, which means if you exceed a certain amount of usage, then you will be charged a unicorns ass for any more additional usage. They have strong laws in place.

Vikram Buddhi is in jail in the US for not following these strict, but well defined laws.

So does that mean everybody who uses the Internet is a criminal?

NO.

And I can’t believe a Ministry led by Sachin Pilot, a so-called young gun, would make a law this horrifying and not realize that.

Isn’t India a democracy, where it is a fundamental and un-amendable right for Freedom of Speech (in normal situations)? Then how can they do this? It’s not Freedom of Speech with limits, its Freedom of Speech and Expression. The Internet is my medium to express myself.

They cannot pass a law like this and stifle a fundamental right that is granted and guaranteed to us.

I‘m attacking this law because though similar laws exist in other countries, the Indian version is deliberately under-worded. I mean look at those words in quotes above. Every other law in India is so fucking wordy and over worded (trust me, I study politics so I know) that it’s a headache remembering them and I wonder how lawyers or judges do it.

But this law is quite the opposite. There are no specific actions that are struck down as illegal (such as making fun of the Mahatma or making casteist remarks or remarks that could shatter communal harmony).

They’ve just defined it in the broad sense of the term, and I expect they’ll use their “wonderfully honest and straightforward discretionary” powers to see which and what is illegal and which and what is not.

That’s where the Government is gravely wrong : absolutely no laws exist protect the citizens.

All laws protect the Government itself, and their misplaced and incorrect ideas of what is to be and what is not to be. They’re slowly becoming totalitarian.

And I think the Government and all people in power infact should just take note of one thing : Government is not equal to the State of India. They’re not making that distinction. They think by being in power, they are India. They’re not. They’re just a party voted into power because people had faith in them to do the right thing, and also because people had no choice. No good candidate existed.

Governments will come and go, but the State of India will continue to exist. Get that first you stupid turds. You’re here to serve us citizens, not the other way around. That’s why its called “civil servant”.

So in 2014, they will definitely be voted out of power and I hope to hell this Act is then either repealed or amended. Otherwise some serious shit could go down, even with this blog, probably.

The Congress can do whatever now, but they should absolutely know that they will be voted out of power in a democratic and legal way. And they wont come back to power for the next 4 decades, or so I pray to God. People in India aren’t blubbering idiots who will take your nonsense propaganda and all the lies that come out of your mouths and let you stay in power.

Then I’ll be dead so I don’t give a fuck.

SMH I’m getting carried away. Back to topic.

Yeah, so since it is already in effect, I shall cut down on the number of attacks I make on anything that can be judged as controversial.

Yes, I’m scared for my balls.

Posted on May 6, 2011, in The Serious Stuff. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

Ok now say something. It's still a democracy in this part of the world.

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