The shrill sound of her cell phone ringing brought her back to earth. Looking at the caller ID, she sighed and left it unanswered. It was him again; no surprises there. She went back to staring at the mirror.
She’d heard of men and their weird and stupid breaking up tactics. But not Kunal, oh no no. He’s not your regular-boyfriend-material-guy. No no. He’s different. He has not once looked at her or treated her like the way other men have. That’s what made her fall in love with him. Still, she couldn’t figure out what he saw in her.
Nevertheless, she couldn’t help but think about the various silly n lame reasons her exes cited for ending the relationship. ‘You’re not a good kisser’. Her jaw had dropped at that one. I mean seriously?! ‘Do you always wear that frown?’ was another. She’d rolled her eyes at that. ‘Your laugh’s scary woman!’ ‘Ok so how on earth does that even relate to you dumping me?’ she asked in disbelief.
Men, she sighed.
She looked at her phone again. 87 missed calls (yes she reserved it for the record) from him in a week. She was too scared to answer all his calls after the last one where she dropped her phone on hearing his question. The Question. She shuddered to even think about it now.
The last call. She should’ve known it was coming as, obviously, the topic of conversation always drifted to it before they hung up. Only this time, it scared the shit outta her. ‘So sweetheart’, he’d said lovingly ‘when am I gonna look into that beautiful eyes of yours this week?’ he’d asked. She froze. A yelp escaped from her lips before she clapped her hand to her mouth and whispered, ‘um kunal? I’ve gotta go NOW’ and she dropped her phone at that and ran to the washroom and shut her door.
After that, she had spent most of her waking minute staring at herself in the mirror (apart from the usual time spent i.e.) and constantly kept sighing. It almost killed her to avoid his calls and to not talk to him everyday. But she managed. She’d take a deep breath, think of them together and let it go when the ringing stops. Her thoughts always ran to what would happen when he finally saw her and the frightful discovery he’d make. She still couldn’t believe neither of them noticed before or saw it coming. Atleast she must have seen it coming! She sighed again.
200th text message in her phone. From kunal unmistakably; this one said ‘now if you don’t tell me what the heck is going on shee, am gonna barge into that house of yours and make matters worse for you so better answer my damn call NOW!’. As it rang, she let it ring dramatically before she finally answered and cautiously said ‘Hi honey’ in a barely audible whisper.
‘Thank god woman I’m finally hearing your goddamn voice after a week! Now take a deep breath and temme what the matter is, will you Sheila?’
‘Yes’ she replied.
‘Now that’s a good girl. Temme’
‘After getting back home the other day…’
‘I checked my…..my…..weight…’ she almost swallowed the last word.
‘Checked your what???? Mind being a little loud shee? I can’t make out what you’re saying…’
She gulped. ‘My weight’ she said a little louder. She awaited the impending disaster.
There was a confused silence at his end. ‘Ok. So? What’s that got to do with the whole thing?! Are you pregnant or something?!’ he demanded impatiently.
‘Aw no!’ she squeaked shocked.
‘Then?!’ his voice grew sharp with every response.
‘I…..I’ve…..g…gained…..5kgs, I’ve become FAT WAHHHHHH!’ she wailed into the phone.
There was a pause. ‘So?’ he asked.
‘Don’t you get it?’ she demanded ‘aren’t you going to dump me?????
Women, he thought.