I am a guy. I love cars. Especially the badass, fictional ones. I feel very insufficient after seeing badass, fictional cars on screen and going home by stupid Premier Padmini taxi.
So lets get this fucking thing on the road eh ? *hahaha*
5. Zebra Three/Striped Tomato
This car appears in the TV show (and its movie adaptation), Starsky and Hutch. It’s a 2 door, V8 Ford Gran Torino.
In other words, it is a car that I will actually buy (I can’t afford the others on this list), then preserve perfectly with a million toothbrushes and nanotechnology and never let anyone even go near it, lest their carbon-dioxide ruins it. It’s a beautiful car.
In the movie, Ben Stiller’s character’s loses the car after he drives it into the sea. So Huggy Bear (S-N-double O-P D-O-double G) gets him another car from 2 guys (the original Starsky and Hutch) who want to sell it.
Herbie is a cute little gray Volkswagen Beetle with red, white and blue stripes because it is an “American” car, not an “American car”. Actually, it’s German, but wrap your head around that mindfuck. It also has the number 53 on it.
Also, Lindsay Lohan acted in the movies, another reason as to why I like Herbie. This was when Lohan was still an attractive youngster with plenty of potential. This was before Lindsay Lohan blew all that on partying and rehab and partying..and rehab..and so on.
Now shes just some random celebrity. If you have the time, check out this rather long video of Herbie #winning.
Holy FUCK just look at those 2. If they ever teamed up, the World (and GM) would cease to exist and they would leave in search of other worlds where they can cause more “cease-to-exist” situations.
They’re both fictional (unfortunately), which means they’re just cars (but bloody awesome ones) and not sentient robots in the form of cars. They appeared on the show (and movie) Knight Riders, where the protagonist, David Hasselhoff, is the guy from Baywatch.
Anyway, KITT T.V version : It’s a supercomputer on wheels. In other words, it will end you. It can go from 0-60 mph in 2 seconds. It can jump over you. It can shoot you. It can kill you. It can defeat you in a quiz. It can take your wife and your pizza away from you. Fire will tickle it. It laughs at you because its voice is so much cooler. It can silently attack you from behind.
It has a FUCKING FLAMETHROWER. What kind of badass came up with that idea? A flamethrower in a car? Holy shit.
It “dispenses” money, in the same way a stylish upscale toilet “dispenses” endless amounts of soap.
KITT Movie version : All of the above + technological upgrades that have happened since 1980 (Read : a lot). This includes the ability to transform into other cars, print 3D objects, a cockshitting EMP, fucking nanotech skin and an onboard health monitoring system. If it had a McDonalds and a bed, I would totally live in it.
Ok let me not bullshit here. I have not read the Transformer comics or seen the Transformer cartoons. I know of Transformers only because of the movies, and Bumblebee is the most badass car ever because its
1) An Autobot
2) Owned by the derpityderphurrdurr boyfriend of the ZOMGWTFHOLYSHITSHESHOT Megan Fox.
It’s a Chevy Camaro, a car that was slated to release in India for 25 lakhs this year, but has not and no one knows why. If they released a Megan Fox with it, I’m done.
Ok I’ll stop this Megan Fox obsession.
Here’s a clip from the Transformers game solely to prove that Bumblebee is awesome even in games :
If you looked at that car and went “holy shit”, then you’re human.
It was built by the stinkingrich Bruce Wayne, who is a superpower-less superhero. He needs it to defeat criminals and to also occasionally go shop for groceries. I’m not sure if Big Bazaar would appreciate it if Batman came crashing down from the ceiling. The Batmobile is so much more..civil.
It’s just so…wow.