I’ve always been fascinated by photography. It’s something that never ceases to amaze me. So when I looked over the brochure for my course in the site and saw the words ‘photography’ included among all other things I love, I jumped in and enrolled myself for the Post Graduation course in this particular college. Considering this college has a huge reputation in the media department n all (atleast from what I heard while I was doing my UG there) I concluded that the best teachers will be teaching us for the M.A course too. Boy was I so wrong.
20th July dawned all bright and beautiful and after the usual boring subjects, finally came photography. I was looking out for the prominent sirs of our college when this thin woman with some weirdly brown straight hair walks in. We were busy eating:
Me: “Machan someone’s come da”
Megh: “Who da?”
“Dunno who n all da….”
“She’s a new teacher t’seems”
“…….and I’ll be handling photography for you”
Me: “(mouth hanging open) machan look at her da who is she btw? She’ll teach photography for us????”
“Lol apparently machan”
“…….i am a documentary film maker…..”
Me: “Ah ok then she must be good only da”
“You think so?…”
“Alright she’ll take class on Monday we’ll see then”
“Finally photography we’r gonna learn this!”
“Yeah yeah we’ll see…..”
She walks in……..
Me: “Machan why is she wearing a pattu (silk) sari da?????”
Megh looks at her n bursts laughing and says between giggles “lol she’s trying to be the perfect tamil ponnu machan”
“Bloody tamil ponnu (pukka tamil girl) it seems shut up di don’t…” and she giggles away to glory.
The lady starts her class. Without a freaking camera. It took a while for us back benchers to notice that she was actually teaching about the parts of one…….without a camera in hand. And we were previously b.com students. Dunno shit about dslr or slr.
“So now today we are going to see about how the camera works.”
“Whats she doing????”
“Yaarukku theriyum machan…” (who knows)
“Very helpful you are bitch!”
“So now we’ll see about the SLR”
We’r trying to listen and figure out what she means.
“…it has a single lens. Light passes through the lens is reflected by the mirror placed at a 45-degree angle……..the mirror is ‘here’……”
“Huh? Understand anything?”
“Ok we’ll see”
“……this is the viewfinder……light is reflected…….and aligns with the viewfinder…..45 degree…….the mirror moves outta the path……”
By now we are shifting distractedly in our seats not understanding a word of what she’s saying.
She points out to someone n says “you understood ma?” the poor girl doesn’t know what to say and shakes her head in a tiny ‘no’ and says loud enough for mam to hear ‘yes mam yes’.
“Very good now we’ll-”
Someone says “But mam?”
“Yes ma?” and she proceeds to clear the doubt. Apparently.
We exchange looks. I finally realize whats missing. A camera. She looks at all of us and asks us repeatedly if we understood what she ‘took’.
“Only if you understant we can proceed so if you dont understand please stop me and ask me doubts” she insists.
Many nod and many shake their heads.
“What ma I just explained all of you no?”
“Mam but we cant understand without a camera” I finally say out loud.
She dint hear me.
Megh giggles loudly again “machan stop cribbing da let her teach what she wants” between giggles.
More doubts come up again and some in our class attempt to help the teacher by posing themselves as camera parts. Books also act as mirrors, lens, lights, etc.
I am disgusted by now and make faces whereas megh is happily laughing her ass off and I get into a discussion with an ex-journalism classmate of how horribly she’s ‘teaching’ photography.
One says bored clearly by the horrible turn of events “we had a teacher who opened the parts and actually taught how the camera works!”
And one beloved first bencher attempts to help her and tries to act like a camera part/holding a book/reflecting light to help us understand better. Bless her soul.
She now tries to teach with the books. Books are camera parts. One girl stands here and the other facing her and they try to enact how light reflects from the mirror and goes through the viewfinder n blah blah.
Me: “how am I supposed to understand what she takes without a camera you fool?”
Megh: “(between uncontrollable giggles) imagine the camera in your head and match it to whatever she’s drawing machan you can learn easily”
“Bloody I’ve never seen the parts of a dslr how the heck am i supposed to follow what she says??”
“You shouldn’t have trouble imagining so imagine how it looks like and understand no!”
Finally the lady gets fed up and asks us why we aren’t getting this simple thing.
“Teach us with a camera mam!” I volunteer loudly. Again.
She goes up to the board and tries to DRAW the parts.
Megh laughs all over again and I join in with her.
“Ok this is the 45 degree angle……” she rants on.
Me: “what, is she taking theory class or practical class da? How can she bloody teach without the camera???” i ask for the umpteenth time.
The drawings are………..BAD. Plain bad.
So we give up trying to listen and I tell megh “am gonna blog about this da” she laughs all over again.
“Ok come lets go for the meeting…”
We laugh all the way to the meeting.