Anna Hazare is awesome.

Quick – guess which can be called the biggest fail of this century so far.

1. RGV Ki Aag

2. The Congress trying to..do something..to Anna Hazare’s movement.

3. The English football team.

Hint

If you have not been too busy hiding under your bed or being defeated by your pet parakeet in heated debates, then you’ll know that a lot of weird things happened this week :

1. August 15th.

Our PM (Manmohan Singh, for those of you who understandably forgot) slammed Anna Hazare’s movement. He said “No one can fast and get things done. The Government is against corruption.”

In the evening, debates about this get heated. Permission to fast indefinitely in Delhi (your Constitutional right, fellow Indian passport holder) was denied to Anna because Anna was seen as a threat to public peace.

Seen here, rioting violently

Naturally people were like “say whaaa-aaat” and Anna Hazare and Arvind Kejriwal said “IDC, we’re totally doing this”.

There were heated debates on all the news outlets. Congress accused Anna of blackmailing, before moving on to try and somehow bring in the BJP and NDA and prove something with all that. Neutral people said they disagreed with his method, but supported his end.

I SAID GET ON WITH IT AND BOOT OUT CORRUPTION AND ALL THAT.

The stage was set for what would have been India’s China moment.

2. August 16th.

The fast was on. But weirdly enough, before Anna Hazare could even reach his location (JP Park in Delhi), he was arrested and put under “protective custody”. By the Delhi Police. Before breaking laws. Of any country.

He was then taken to a magistrate, where he refused to pay the bail bond and was sent to Tihar Jail (inhabited by species like Raja’s and Kalmadi’s).

"HERP I CAN HAZ MOAR MONEY? HURR DURR TREADMILL MONEY HAHA LULZ"

Then all kinds of hell broke loose. No seriously. People in my society, where I live, started protesting. The last time I saw this much unity here was when India won the World Cup. Otherwise they’re always at each others throats and hair.

A huge crowd gathered everywhere they wanted in Delhi, effectively making the Delhi police itself a fail – they declared Section 144 right? They were then loaded into buses and deposited in a stadium by the very cops who are always absent when women get raped in Delhi.

They were outside. Everywhere.

The Congress went into damage control mode – saying they were “sad” to arrest Anna Hazare but law had to take its course. Kapil Sibal, Chidambaram and funnily enough, Ambika Soni addressed the media, emphasizing on why what was done had to be done. Earlier, they had said “ANYONE WHO BREAKS THIS RANDOM LAWZ WILL BE IN DA JAILS BRUDDAH”. I am sensing the confusion beginning here.

Rage spilled over and Chetan Bhagat pretty much summed it up when he said “It’s all about perception. The Congress is seen as a corrupt government. When they throw an anti-corruption crusader in jail for not even doing anything wrong, even people who were passive will turn against them.”

"Arrest that old man, did they? Count me in, I say"

This is exactly the shit that happened. So much so that (according to the media) Rahul Gandhi (OMG OMG YOUTH ICON) had to intervene and order his party to release Anna and not attack Anna personally.

So the “Government” a.k.a Delhi Police did that, but Anna was like, 1000 steps ahead. He totally disagreed to be released and said he WILL stay in Jail until and unless he is allowed to do what he wants, where he wants.

This was an unexpected turn of events, even for the Congress. I think they were planning to hold him on absurd premises and release him to kick some steam out of this movement, but that failed because, well its a little late to kick some steam out of this movement.

And even if they released him, they were planning to just arrest him again if he did any of that “fasting nonsense” the next day (i.e today). Unfortunately, they did NOT anticipate him saying he will not get out of jail, which soon led to all kinds of ironies :

1. He was in jail with Raja and other corrupt animals. These people are in jail mostly because of him and the Supreme court.

2. He was an anti-corruption crusader refusing to leave jail, while corrupt officials are afraid to go to jail.

3. He was in jail for the same reason the Congress lauded Rahul Gandhi for : Section 144. Rahul Gandhi violated S-144 in UP, which was declared by Mayawati because shes shit scared of him. The Congress said “democracy failed” and all that and hey, what do you know. They just threw Anna in jail for the same reason !

Enter MORE RAGE.

"BRING IT"

Now the usually self-assured Government was left in a serious fix. It had to do something, right? People everywhere were slamming the Government.

This showed. They literally had nothing to say to the media yesterday – Renuka Chowdry made a complete fool of herself by likening Times Now to Peepli Live and generally blabbering irrelevant drivel and Narayana Swamy just kept going back to BJP all the time on CNN-IBN.

And the trolls of Congress : Manish Tiwari (who accused Anna of corruption, being anarchist, being fascist, being Maoist), Digvijay Singh (who accused Anna of being an RSS Agent and said he has proof, which he should have revealred back in April) and others, were absent. WOW !

The BJP tried to gain brownie points, along with other parties, but I don’t think the people who are protesting (moderately ok to rich, mostly educated people) are stupid enough to fall for their lame antics.

Result : They denied him permission to fast for an indefinite time day before yesterday. Today, they are giving him permission to fast in an even better place (Ramlila Maidan) for 7 days. I cannot even begin to explain how much of a total, strategic failure this was by the Congress. An utter, complete, unmitigated failure. A disaster. Catastrophic stupidity, which is why I’m laughing and why this post is atleast 5% funnier than other posts.

Cue maniacal laughter

3. My analysis.

Basically, the Congress is just massively disconnected with the people – atleast the Cabinet is. They did not anticipate this – no one did, but they should have been prepared for it. They underestimated the power of the media, the underestimated the anger of the people and they are just too arrogant to care about anything.

Their attitude is just astonishingly flippant. They don’t appear to give a damn about anything but :

1. The BJP and communal politics.

2. The RSS and assassination of the Mahatma.

3. UP, Bihar and votes.

Notice the absence of “people” or “citizens” in that list.

Wait, what?

They completely failed to realize that this is not a movement about Anna (not totally). They failed to understand that this movement exists because people are completely fucking pissed with all this stupid corruption on a national level and on nothing happening to the accused, and the fact that corruption affects them on a personal level every fucking day as well.

They thought this was just about Anna and his team and thought if they arrested the leaders, the movement will die out. By doing that, they just gave so many bones to the hungry dog that is Indian society. I wonder what 10th std kid gave advice to the Congress.

Honestly, I thought they’ll just throw Anna out of Delhi. You see how awesome that would have been from a Congress point of view? He can’t come inside Delhi, and no more problems. Just unbelievable, whatever they actually did.

Moving on. I hope you get this properly : I’m definitely not saying this is a turning point in Indian history. It’s certainly not – not until the rural folk get involved. India is not its urban areas. India is its rural areas. That’s where most of the population lives.

If they get involved, each and every party is in for the biggest ass kicking they can ever expect to get. And its happening in pockets – in UP, in Haryana and Rajasthan, in Andhra, in West Bengal and in Maharashtra. All for different reasons, but when rural folk get pissed, they get pissed.

I honestly also want them to get involved – NREGA, UID and so many social welfare schemes and be implemented properly and these people can be uplifted if corruption disappeared or reduced. I think they SHOULD get involved. Unless that happens, this is not an “Emergency like movement” and it’s not even close to with India’s movement vs the British.

Back then, everyone, 80% of the population, said “GTFO British limeys, we fucking hate you”. What percentage do you think is involved now? India’s heart is in its rural area.

I think its time every single party out there realized the urban population (who they don’t give a fuck about anyway) is pissed with them.

Presto ! An unrelated random image.

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Posted on August 17, 2011, in The Serious Stuff and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. yes it is matter of celebration for INDIA…Anna Jai Ho..Kanoon banne ka rasta saaf hua.. sabhi indians ko dil se savikaar karna chahia our aaj se hi individual selfish lalsa #$%$ kar aam zindigi mein corruptin avaidh lain dain se aapne aap ko door rakheinge.

  2. Just loved the article and the style! Couldn’t help laughing!!

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