A general rant

In case its not been clear to regulars already, I’ve moved from Chennai to Mumbai two years ago and I hate this stupid city. No really, there’s nothing I’d like more than to just pack up and leave and never return to Mumbai and hopefully, India as well.

This bubble of hate exists inside me and it finally exploded today. What was the big incident that made the deep-rooted hate towards Mumbai come to the fore?

I take the train to and from college everyday. Sometimes, at completely absurd times (like 645 am or 2pm), the trains are crowded, effectively making me choose between standing inside the train and baking or standing on the footboard. Since I’m a very sweaty person, I choose the footboard.

This has happened for 2 years. Today, however, things were a little different. Between 2 stations (Vidya Vihar and Ghatkopar), something happened.

This section is generally hilly and the tracks have been carved out of the rock that was the hill earlier and its a 1 minute journey. It’s uneventful usually and boring, as are all train journeys. If you do want to see something, you can marvel at the jagged rocks protruding uneasily near the track and hope someone doesn’t fall on it.

There is also one signal. Today, on that signal, sat a man in a yellow t-shirt. I was absentmindedly thinking about unrelated and random things when I felt an arm extend on to my shoulder. It “brushed” against my shoulder, but given the speed of the train, this caused me considerable discomfort.

Not that I was giving even the tiniest of fucks about the pain in the shoulder. Other commuters shouted out and I realized this guy was actively trying to murder me for gain. You see, I wear a shoulder bag to college. And here’s this guy was actually sitting on the signal, reaching out to commuters with bags on the footboards of the trains, trying to pull their bags (and them), maim the commuters when they fall, then rob them and then run away.


So I was shocked out of my mind. I always thought this would happen on sections with slums are boundaries, like Bandra-Andheri or the entire Harbour line, or Sion-Kurla (where that woman in that link died). It never even struck me that this would happen between fucking Vidya-Vihar and Ghatkopar, but it did.

This guy nearly pulled me off the train. If the train had rocked, or if I had been a little to the left, I wouldn’t be posting this now. I would either be in a coma or dead. And this isn’t hyperbolic shitty ranting either – its true. Note that I couldn’t go into the train because it was mostly packed and also, I did not notice the guy because fuck it, who looks at signals apart from the drivers?

I could have died. Who does this? Who is so poor that they’re willing to do absolutely fundamentally fucked up stuff just to make money? Is Mumbai really that poor? Then why does it have such a glitzy reputation in India? Is bling enough to hide shit?

Does that mean I can poop and deck it with chains and hope people will like it? Anyway who does that?

And then I remembered that slums make up 80% of Mumbai. So Mumbai is full of enterprising dipshits who want to make easy money. These losers don’t have the fucking balls to go and get themselves educated and instead choose to kill people to make money. These dipshits are also “poor” because it suits them. They actually have satellite TV and air-conditioners in their “slum houses”, and pay 1/50th of the electricity bills that I pay. They pay virtually no money for water, since it’s all stolen anyway. And they have one fucking corporator who supports them because its just so many easy votes.

It’s a win-win relationship.

So fuck Mumbai and its shitty slums. If those slums are going to be the first thing I see whenever I land in this city, fuck it – I won’t land here. I’ll just land in Fairbanks, Alaska instead. Mud, rocks, stones, snow > Slums.

But crime happens in every city, right? Why am I ranting only about Mumbai?

1. I live here. This is not self-willed. I live here because my parents do. I will leave, Mumbai-lovers. Don’t worry. I’ll banish myself from this hellhole soon enough.

2. If Mumbai wants to be like fucking Shanghai or even a normal “world city” (even freaking Colombo is better), then they gotta get rid of these mudheads.

3. Crime at this level is intolerable. I nearly died. Someone already died. What does it take for the Government to actually pull their fucking pants up and stop blowing each other and work on something?

I mean just imagine if I’d been injured. Imagine all the trauma that would have caused to my parents and friends. All for what? 13K worth of cellphone, waterbottle, bag and books? Don’t people have fucking brains?

And if that piece of shit was willing to climb up a railway signal to pull guys on trains in an area otherwise inaccessible by foot, couldn’t he have just gone and applied for a job instead?

The government plans to reduce this menace by building a wall all the way from CST (the main terminus) to Kalyan (major terminus outside Mumbai). We know how that will work out.

This rant is now included into stuff that already bugs my life out about Mumbai –

  • Traffic, traffic and more traffic.
  • Behavior of traffic
  • Heat and humidity
  • Dust
  • Behavior of public transport like rickshaws and taxis
  • The stupid smells
  • Et al

I am sincerely hoping that unlike two months ago, things work out for me this time around in the future. I want to leave this stupid mess of a slum-polis to itself and its annoying shenanigans.


Posted on September 19, 2011, in The Serious Stuff and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Ooh! Someone’s angry.

  2. dude…..in other countries you ll have a gun pointed at you….. how is that better??

  3. 1000 likes for this. 😀 I just hate that city SO much. 😐 People from Mumbai criticize Chennai, which doesn’t make any sense. Chennai is anyday FAAAAAAAAR better than Mumbai!

    • Mumbai may be bad, but please don’t say Chennai is far better. Really. Please don’t. You’ll just have a million people laughing at you.

      • there are 3 buildings full of fucks that i don’t give about all that.
        mumbai sucks.
        i was in the formative first 18 years of my life in chennai, so naturally i tend to be loyal to chennai.
        but though seriously, all indian cities are equally BAD with the exception of chandigarh (probably)
        and they can’t even kind of pitch mumbai as an equal to shanghai if its going to be like this. chennai compares itself to bangalore, fyi.
        just makes you think.

        • Hey, wisetongue19, relax! I wasn’t even saying that to you. My reply was to the crazy princess.

          As far as Shanghai or something goes, Mumbaikars don’t want to be Shanghai; that’s just the politicians crowing their asses off.

        • i figured that out AFTER i replied and also, so sorry if that sounded rude .

        • Ha ha ha ha! So cute.

        • i honestly have no response to that. so i guess ill advertize : check out the other posts on this blog..

Ok now say something. It's still a democracy in this part of the world.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: