4 Things that I hate about Indian Telecom

I hate using my mobile phones, so I’ve made a quick list of things that I hate about the service providers. I have avoided naming them wherever possible, incase they come across this blog and sue my ass (they’ve done it before, stupid corporate bastards).

1. Have they even got towers? Their network sucks.

As I’ve mentioned repeatedly, I have 3 sim cards. The network on all 3 suck. Loop Mobile, for example, had exceptional dBm strength wherever I went a year back. It was so good, infact, that they gave the good citizens of Mumbai a challenge – if there are call drops, they’ll reimburse the money back into our cards.

Then the call drops actually started happening and the signal became weaker over time. Now, it’s useless talking with my Loop sim even when I’m hanging out the window because it has become genuinely horrible. I’m not going to get started on the other two sims, but note that they’re equally horrible.

My network dropped from an average of 3-4 bars to 1-2 bars all the time, even when I’m outside. Why?

2. Roaming is anti-democratic.

So here I am, with 3 Mumbai sims. Apparently, if I go out of Mumbai to say, Chennai, then my sims are as useful as the gray stuff that comes out of my nose.

No seriously, its bad. My Loop sim roams on Idea’s network and charges me all the heavens (and all the hells) so I’m pretty much broke by the time I return to Mumbai. Why does roaming even exist as a concept? For the companies to make more money?

Different “circles” within the same country makes sense if it exists only for administrative purposes, not for anything else. Roaming doesn’t exist in the United States, for example, and the US is much bigger than India.

I don’t see the logic – If I buy a Chennai sim from Chennai, and I have use it in Madurai, my wallet spontaneously combusts because I’m in a different “circle”, meaning the Chennai circle is not the same as Tamil Nadu circle. But Chennai is in Tamil Nadu, so WTF?

Seriously, who sits and thinks of these things? Thank God roaming has been done away with by the Telecom minister Kapil Sibal. Now that this has happened, I’m sure the providers are plotting alternative methods to indulge in such blatant thievery.

No no, just watch. They’ve already said “the price war has cooled down” which basically means mobile call prices (which dropped to an all time low of 1p/3 sec) are now going to rise. I strongly smell a cartel here, and plenty of unfair trade practices. Seriously I do.

3. It’s 24×7 robbery when it comes to SMSes.

I just read on Cracked.com that SMS’es shouldn’t even cost a pie. I get most of my info from Cracked.com, so I’m more than compelled to believe something like that, especially when the New York Times also stated the same thing.

I’m not going to post any links since none of you click on them anyway, but I’ll explain in my own inimitable style.

So it works like this : There are 2 routes for your mobile phone to talk to the tower. One of these routes is in contact with the tower all the time. It sends out packets of data that are 160 characters long and tells the tower shit like where you are, how you’re doing and where you’re going.

SMSes are sent on this route. So here’s the shocker – whether you’re actually messaging someone or not, it sends out these packets anyway. Have you ever wondered why a message is 160 characters long? It’s because of this. Your SMS (when sent) just piggybacks on these packets to the tower and then to the other mobile phone at the other end. So when it says “You don’t have free messages left” or “You don’t have any money left to message”, you can safely call the loudest bullshit ever because that’s exactly what it is.

It should go, whether or not you have any money. The providers are fully aware of this and have exploited this ignorance in their idiot consumers and charge the fucking roof for messaging.

And what the FUCK, seriously, 1 Re/msg on festival days? I’m insanely angry because today is Diwali and I’m getting robbed right before my eyes every single time I message someone.

What kind of fuckassed logic is this? This is the one day when there are no restrictions on messaging (otherwise its 100 smses a day), this is the one day when we can wish everyone we know and they charge us a fucking buck a pop?

That’s just saturated with corporate dickishness. It’s just absurd. Why should I be charged 1000% more (I use Loop) to message people just because it’s a festival day?

And with what BALLS are these guys saying they’re making losses? That’s bullshit. No that’s not just bullshit, that’s the worst kind of hippo-fly-roach-shit you can have thrown at you.

And if they’re not making losses, why can’t they cut costs?

4. Mobile Internet is TFU.

I have a lot of friends who use Blackberry. So some of them pay 399 a month to use Facebook (the BB app), BBM, email checking and downloading BB apps from the Blackberry Market.

That’s it. 399 a month on fucking 2G for this shit? They can’t use the internet, they can’t browse neither can they watch YouTube or see normal websites.

That’s stupid. This is where I love DoCoMo. They want 95 bucks a month to use 6 gigaBITS of all kinds of internet for a month. 6 gigaBITS or 6Gb is equivalent to nearly 1 gigaBYTE or 1 GB. That’s good enough. I don’t know why Blackberry users are getting their money eaten from out of their hands. Is it because they have a Blackberry? There’s just no sense in that to me at all.

Also, telecom providers fail to make a distinction all the time about this gigabits gigabytes thing. I was totally amazed first, when I heard that DoCoMo had this kickassed plan. I was also a little suspicious and my suspicions were confirmed when I checked my usage on my Android and converted it.

TO BE NOTED : If the “b” is small (in the ads), then it’s Gigabits and if its a big “B” then its Gigabytes. And the ads are not always clear. So if you think you’ve signed up for a Gigabytes thing, and you are getting less than anticipated internet usage, then you may have just been trolled. If you’re in the mood and have the time and money, go and sue their ass.

Oh and 3G. Oh 3G. 3G in India has failed miserably so far. Like the worst fail in the history of worst fails. Airtel (a simcard I don’t use) asks for 450 bucks  A MONTH to use 3G internet. Only 1GB is free. I’m not going to use more than I already use for DoCoMo, but I pay nearly 5 times more for what?

Pathetic 3G network and so-called better speeds? That’s an absurd premise to blow hard-earned money. I’m not that desperate to use the internet anyway. I”ll just come home and use it over wifi, and also be satisfied with my economical 2G that Tata offers me.

 

 

So..do you have any thing that you hate about Indian telecom that I missed? Or do you think I’m wrong? Let me know, by commenting in that nice white space below.

Posted on October 26, 2011, in Lists. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. 8 bits make up 1 byte. Therefore, 6 Gb = 0.75 GB (768 MB).

  2. In Tamil Nadu the condition of Airtel was(don’t know whether it is still the same) really pathetic.When I first came to Tamil Nadu in 2008, I purchased a Airtel sim because of the customer trust it used to enjoy but after that a sequence of bullshit happened that freaked me out; literally. First of all when I made calls to a landline no. it said the no. does not exist. Same was the situation with all the other no.s with same STD code. On many occasion though my call duration was less than a minute they charged me 3/- and sometimes even 4.5/-. I was so fed up of that that eventually I switched to DOCOMO and it is the best network I have ever come across.

  3. Tata has the best ever customer service. Let it be Tata Indicom, Tata Photon or DoCoMo, they have awesome and quick customer service and have people who actually know something. Tata is THE best network in India, according to me. 🙂

    AND, I don’t know about other networks, but the one I used had the most pathetic, good-for-nothing customer service and tried to force me to use 3G by de-activating my 2G and activating 3G without even asking me. Worst part, when I called customer service, there wasn’t a proper response when I asked them to reverse it. I got so angry and blasted at them after which I couldn’t call customer care from my number. They should re-name their ‘customer service’ to kadupethara service. :@

    And also, the number of times they called to ‘explain about 3G services’ when it was introduced. I used to get almost 2 calls a day. FREAKING irritating. 😐

  4. you missed one main thing- their bleeding Customer care! I’ve only had two carriers so far, had Airtel for 5 years before switching over to Vodafone a few months ago to keep my ‘relationship’ costs down and man, was that one of the biggest mistakes i’ve ever made…Airtel was fine, excepting the fact that none of their customercare execs knew only fluent tamil, nothing else…there were few glitches here and there and they didn’t steal much of my money…Vodafone, ah, just one month down the road with them and they had already stolen 200 bucks, thrice in separate instances. Each of them relating to my mobile internet usage plus their customer care is a freaking joke…i managed to get back my cash only once by blasting the buggers for more than a month but that was shortlived, they ate away that cash that was refunded plus more saying i overshot my GPRS free usage limit just the next day! what cheapasses these Voda mofos are, instead of my internet just getting shut down when my limit is done and eating my balance to zero as was with Airtel, these buggers take it to negative and keep going until i stop…how would you feel when you check your balance to find you have more than -90 bucks third time in the same month and …Funny thing now, i don’t have access to the customer care from my phone at all, guess they blocked me off,…gonna jump to Docomo in sometime, hope atleast that isn’t as hellish!

  5. Raji_mythili.K

    I’ve got one abt roaming… i guess its only d loop service which charges for roaming even inside TN wen u buy a sim in TN… other services dont actually… I have three sim cards too n besides the absurdly high boosters in two of them the network is fine (exception on new year’s eve when all the three networks just crash…) and i dont even wanna start about the sms and the internet costs coz i wont stop.. it’s seriously daylight robbery….. good post…

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