I study in Solamandalam Vivekananda Chamundeeswari Engg College. Which is INDIA’s most premier College. It was founded in 1924.
By Sir Horny Faggots.
And these are some of the rules in my college :
1. Wear ID at all times. If you are not wearing shirt or pant, or for that matter, running aroung stark naked, no-one will bother you if you have your ID card on you.
2. Professors will ALWAYS know more then you. Their “Technical knowledge” exceeds yours at all points of time and space. Any attempt at out-smarting will end in the prof saying,”BAKSHI says so” or “HOD room now”. Only people having less technical knowledge are the AAYAH’s underneath the stairs (Citations needed, cos they also claim to know more than the students ).
3.BAKSHI is GOD of EEE and ECE. Anything thats not explained in the BIBLE or QURAN is explained in BAKSHI. In case you dont know who BAKSHI is, This is For You -> Bakshi is this lame-ass always in heights of joblessness who writes REFERENCE books for engineering. If you happen to know his whereabouts, I’d like to know. So that I can BLOW HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF !
4.Every classroom will have the 9-ptrs, who think getting 8.99 is as big as a sin akin to MURDER. A sincere advice to all normal people, STAY AWAY from these extra-terrestrial martians. Just flick your finger at them whenever you happen to see them. Know this, by flicking your finger you have incurred their wrath and they will NOT HELP YOU ever. EVER.
5. Cute/gorgeous/beautiful girls are a MYTH. Few girls might look,”Good from far”, but on closer inspection,you’ll come to know that they are actually quite “Far From Good”. Average age of girls studyin in college is 55. But maturity is 5. And average rating is 3.14 [ Yea , we are engineering students B-| ] .
6. Another common misconception is that junior/senior girls look good. Its just a rumour startd by the seniors of yesteryears so that the current generation suffer the same fate they suffered,go crazy in search for good looking girls. Know this , Its just NOT POSSIBLE to have cute chicks In An Engineering college (But Hell yeah in an Arts college : Other Admin). So you are stuck with cheap-ass porno and that is all that you deserve .
Wondering why ? Read on …….
7.The rice they use in canteen is the RE.1/kg rice that our honourable “chief minister” provides. So,while at the canteen ensure that you use all your senses.
In the following order:
Look Closely. Smell. Feel. Crush and hear. Then Eat at your own risk.
What you think is Aaloo might jus be a dead cockroach.
The tomatoes and onions might just be half-cooked lizards.
(Plus Lizards are cheaper than onions).
And the “Meal-Maker” is actualy deep-fried monkey balls.
Dont believe me,why do you think the college has so many monkeys ??
8. Most institutions has 9 feet high walls. There are institutions which also have(one or many of the following):
- Barbed Wires.
- Electric Fences.
- CCTV’s installed in strategic locations.
- Marshes on the other side with crocs n alligators.
And surprise surprise,
- Snipers who “head-shot” you if they find you outta place.
- Also a secret collection of MP-16’s and All-terrain vehicles.
In Certain Institutions they have even trained …….
Ohh,By the way,institution refers to engineering colleges not High-Security Prison or concentration camps.
9. College is filled with sadists, sociopaths/psycopaths/mentally-disturbed people who derive pleasure from hurtin you. It’s more of an institution for differently abled.
So dont get to close to anyone.
Observe and proceed with caution.
But since your parents decided to put you at the institution,you should know this.
YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHERS.
10.You are ALWAYS the WORST BATCH EVER. And the PROF CAN ALWAYS SHOW YOU PROOF TO SUPPORT THE FACT. So has any-one really seen any…..