In Case You Have Missed the Prequel – Click -> “Un-Written Rules In Indian Engineering Universities !”
I still do study in Solamandalam Vivekananda Chamundeeswari Engineering College.
God bless Sir Horny Faggots.
My college is better than the IIT’s[Not the Iyyapan Institute’s of Tailoring] and the NIT’s[Again,not the Namakkal Institute of Telemarketing].
So continuing where I left…..
11.My college is nearly 30 kms from where I stay. So I have to travel to my college by college bus daily. And let me assure you, on a scale of 1-10, 10 being “most retarded“, my college bus drivers score a healthy 20.
They are extremely skilful drivers to say the least. They have the amazing ability to drive a college bus through any gap as big as 4mm apart.
And IF you happen to be a guy, this is what is gonna happen to you :
1. You are happily sleeping dreaming about the late night movie you saw the previous night in which a certain diva named Priya Rai featured.
2. Suddenly you are Super-Man in your dream. In reality the bus has hit a speed breaker and you are thrown up.
3. When you start to open up your arms,you feel excruciating pain radiating from the top of your head. This is when you wake up to realize that your head had come in contact with the roof of the bus with a speed which is 8.854×10^-12 times the speed of light which in layman terms is the speed which can give you a nice li’l bump on your head.
4. This is exactly when GRAVITY acts as a bitch. It pulls you down.
5. First,Your BALLS LAND.
6. Then you LAND. ON YOUR BALLS. This is OBVIOUSLY not a PLEASANT feeling.
7. After reaching home,first thing that you do is,watch the late night movie again,to see if your organ functions properly.
“One Ways” strictly exist in metaphysical terms, that a body cant have motion in two different direction at the same time [My engineering brain keeps acting up. Forgive me, my respected human and feline readers].
I really don’t know where they learned driving, because as far as they are concerned, the clutch is not to be used at all. You can see them punching and fighting with the hand-gear,worry not they are just trying to change the gear.
And oh. The ‘BRAKE‘ is not to be used at all.
WARNING : If they ‘Brake‘ for more than 2 seconds at a stretch, hold on for your dear lives because shit is about to go down.
The drivers are usually in high spirits, metaphorically speaking. They are happy men. And why not?
Sometimes literally. VODKA BABY!
In times like these – Hang in there. Both literally and metaphorically.
They just won’t stop when you want to get down at your stop ! They frown and shout you just cos YOU WANT TO GET DOWN AT YOUR STOP ! They expect you to get down while bus is still running ! Nincompoops.
And there is this driver,who drives so slow. I’ve seen cycles overtake him.
Rumor is that he starts from the college daily evening and some time on the way morning dawns and he just does a U-Turn and goes back to college !
12. Every college has these so called “Cool-Guys”. They have hair coloring in weird colors like red or brown as though someone spilled Paneer Butter Masala on their Head. And let me mention their language,which they think is cool. Actually, the only two words they’ll know in English is “Dude” and “Fuck”. Ask ’em the spelling, they will fumble.
And these guys will buy fake brands like NIKE,PUMA etc. Sad fact is they’ll never realize the value of original brands like, “POMA,ADIBASS,NIKEI”.
13. Every Semester,you’ll have technical as well as the useless non-technical subjects. The TECHNICAL subjects are a big time pain in all the wrong places. When the prof’s are teaching you have absolutely no idea what’s going on. Integral calculus,differential calculus, fourier series, it really doesn’t matter. He/she might as well be teaching KG kids, he/she might have a better response.
I really dont know how it is with you people,but more I sit in class the more I seem to forget my basics. Pretty weird.
And you know,at the end of every hour, the prof’s will ask with a really big smile on his face,
“Do you have any doubts ? Feel free to ask. I really dont mind teaching a million times. I can keep teaching till you understand. Am satisfied only if you understand. Else my conscience keeps pricking me”.
This is when you start to think, “wow what a man..such a gem of a teacher”. You are sooo lucky to have him, you say to yourself.
You CANT be MORE WRONG. The worst thing that you can do when he talks like that is ask him a doubt.
Which one poor sod WILL DO.
The smile on the prof’s face will change to one mega-frown. And he’ll scream,
“Can’t you pay attention in class ? Dont you have any respect for teachers ? I explained things so beautifully,strained myself so hard,for what !! For you to understand and yet you cant understand. You are one dumbfuck,you are not fit to do engineering. Go to ARTS college , go run !!”
To which, I’d want to scream ” BALLS “. But common sense prevails.
I really dont understand the ARTs college referrences till date.
(Editor : For arts students the insults are “Go to medical college if you want to keep talking”)
To be Continued…….