Today I will post briefly about, you know, the extremely complicated part of every mans life – females. Specifically – the most common problems I have associated with that gender.
I think you’ll that I’ve posted similar stuff find it here. And OneVeryAnnoyedDude has posted here. YEAH ! We’re not a stupid boring politics blog. Though it appears to be that way, we also bore you with other, inane topics such as cars, hot actresses and other unmentionable dubious stuff.
I also have no idea why I’m advertizing the blog on a blogpost on the blog. Blogception? That doesn’t make any sense. I’m sorry. I guess I’ve lost my funny flow, but I also noticed that daily views have dropped to a miserable 50/day. As you may not be aware of, this is intolerable in my usually relaxed and pathetic standards for this blog.
That will not be taken sitting down, lying down or bending down. I guess this blog needs to pull its metaphorical socks up and rake in the views. Absolutely nothing is more important in life than views. Really.
We don’t give even the microscopic of shits if you guys enjoy what we write. We want views. These views will lead to fame, which will lead to money, which will lead to a lot of Brazilian, Egyptian and Spanish groupies accosting each writer here. And also vying for our fickle attention.
That’s the dream anyway.
I’m here to educate certain women (you know who you are) about what they seriously need to stop doing, and ASAP. Stuff like this is all over the internet, if one bothered to Google it. Off-topic, can you believe “Googling something” is actually a phrase now?
Anyway, women need to stop doing shit like :
1. Leading guys on then un-leading them on.
I’m not really sure how many women do this, but I’m going to make a really wild, unsubstantiated stupid guess and say 8/10 straight women lead a guy on at some point or the other. That’s cool. Guys do it too. Let me first define what I mean by “leading a guy on”. As in, let me explain this context.
It means letting a guy know, by subtle/direct means, that you are into him and would like him to respond. That’s really cool. Flirting is like a fucked up game of chess. You either win, lose or just sit and stare awkwardly until one of you decides to give up and move on.
But the fun stops when the guy becomes interested in the girl leading him on, and the feelings aren’t reciprocated because 4 out of those 8 girls mentioned above are jerks. It doesn’t always happen, but when it does, it does and it causes a lot of broken hearts. At that point, if you’re going to go and tell the poor bastard, “No dude, you missed the train. Better luck next time.”, then that’s just…mean?
That’s like feeding a tiny baby bunny plenty of carrots and grooming it and then giving it to Elmer Fudd when its weight exceeds 10kg. It’s absurd and almost heartless, and not funny at all.
2. Friend-zoning great guys
Friend-zoning is the word of the moment on the internet right now. Seriously, it’s a thing. Lots and lots of single, friendzoned guys have decided to come together to bitch and whine about how awesome they are and how the girl of their dreams just made them feel like asswipe.
And it’s not entirely hyperbole either. Some guys are really, really nice guys who are pretty much perfect on every department that girls desire except maybe appearance and the wallet side of it. They go upto these girls, and treat them like angels made out of brittle ceramic that has honey in it.
But when these girls say “Yeah ok lets just be friends”, that’s really going to only produce the only 2 reactions it ever deserved : lots of emo kids and/or jerks.
And that’s never good for the world.
3. Getting with jerks
This part just flies right over the top of my head at an altitude of say 70000 feet. It just goes way way way over the top. What in the name of fucking hell attracts girls to jerks? By jerks I mean “arrogant dickwads who probably don’t deserve the oxygen they breathe, let alone all the female attention they get”.
Seriously, what is it? What makes girls turn down properly nice guys to settle for that big, bad jerk so much that it’s become a cliche? Cliches aren’t exactly lies you know – they exist for a reason. I get all the blahblah about having security and that rough guys are more likely to protect the girls better and that they’re funnier and more excitement and all that jazz. But I also know for a fact that this is not what girls want. So WTF?
It..it..it just goes beyond logic.
So ladies..clarify. And do that by commenting. The box is below. Go ahead.
I know none of you like shutting up.