My fair Bitch.

“You said you’ll call.”

“Did I now?”

“Yes you did.”

“And when was that?”

“Yesterday morning. God! Which world are you even living in?!”

“Planet earth?”

“Stop trying to be smart AJ!”

“Who’s trying to be smart Li?”



“My ass! Its been over a goddamn week since you even looked at me for more than 10 seconds. Wtf is wrong with you?”

“Uh, nothing?”

“AJ! Stop testing my patience!”


“Ok fine, don’t talk to me. Just tell me why the hell you’re pissed with me?”

“Oh yeah? Look at me. Do I look pissed to you?”

“Ever heard of cold shouldering AJ?”

“Uh, no not really.”

“Fine. Keep it your way. Bye”



“Whats this about?”

“You tell me darling”

“I’m fine”

“Maybe you can try lying to someone else for a change, AJ”

“No I’m not lying”

“My ass.”

“Yes your ass is sexy I agree but cut the crap and get to the point will you?”

“Look who’s talking”

“Yeah I can see thank you very much”

“Competing against Chandler with your sarcasm?”

“No, not really”

“Good. I’m leaving now”

“We aren’t done yet”

“Then maybe you should get started, dumbhead”

“Fine. If you insist.”

“I do”

“What the hell are you doing with my boyfriend?”

“Huh? What? Come again?”

“What are you doing with my boyfriend?”

“What am I doing?”

“You tell me! You seem to’ve a secret going between you two and he’s zipped about it. Mind telling me?”

“Yeah actually I mind so I won’t be telling you”

“Fine. Then I stay this way. Cya”


Such a bitch! I think she’s my bestie and she tries to snatch away my love from me! And her complete nonchalance! Argh! Fuckit! I’m never talking to her again. Ufff. I wonder what he’s upto.

“The airtel number you’re trying to reach is currently busy; please stay on the line or try again later-”

Busy boy is always on the phone when you need him the most. Hmph.



“The airtel number you’re trying to reach is currently busy -”

What a coincidence, both have airtel whereas I, the girlfriend have Vodafone. He is so dead.

“Mundhinam paarthaeney, paarthadhum thoatraenae, salladai kannaga-”


“Happy Birthday bitch!”


It was Li.

It was 12 on the clock.

It was her birthday.

“Thanks bitch. Sup?”

“Nothing much. Seeya tomorrow!” and she hung up. Huh? Whatever. And he hasn’t called yet….sigh.

Muffled sounds and some vigorous shaking.

“Wake up AJ! Look who’s here!”

“What ma its Sunday lemme sleep peacefully”

“No its not Sunday its your birthday lazybum wake up!”

“Happy Birthday AJ!” sang a group of people…..she sat up…..and blinked…..she couldn’t recognize them! Wait. There was….Ritika from her….3rd grade? She couldn’t remember. Smitha…..her old neighbour? Gasp! That was Sam her…..first crush! And a lot more people she completely couldn’t recognize!

“So we wanted to surprise you, obviously,” said a voice from behind her mother who looked at her quite amused “since you’re no longer a baby and are officially becoming an adult. Who knows when you’ll see these people again? So that’s why we thought of something like this and hence all the secrecy!” it was Li.

She gulped down tears that suddenly clouded her sight. Determined not to let them fall, she ran up to Li and hugged her fiercely.

“You’re my best bitch, ever” she whispered into her ear.

Li smiled, “I know, and that’s why there’s more waiting for you” shesais.


“Surprise!” said a quiet voice she realized suddenly, that she’d missed amidst all the confusion.

“Look what I’ve got here for you” he smiled, that smile which still made her go weak in the knees.

Her jaw dropped. “Calvin and Hobbes, the full collection” he hugged her warmly.

“But…but….I couldn’t find this anywhere…” she stammered…

“Yeah we know, I happened to know someone in Westland” he said. She wanted to kiss him; “you ought to thank Li, it was she who came up with this whole idea. She wanted to make your 21 memorable, as clichéd as it may sound.”

She turned to look at her bestie, who stood there smiling, without an iota of doubt of what AJ had been thinking about hours before….sigh.

“Li, I’m lost for words. I love you bitch, you’ll always be my best bitch ever!”

“Haha I know that bitch but what I don’t know is, what the hell were you saying y’day about all this? Hmmm?”

“Um, I guess its PMS…”

“Yeah my ass!”

They burst out laughing. 🙂


Dedicated to my bitches; M, whose b’day is nearing (and I’m immensely sorry for what happened on Monday), K, who always puts up with my madness and yet loves me and A, who tolerates all my nonsense 🙂

Love, your Jams 😀

Posted on April 18, 2012, in I said it with a Story. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Awww.! It’s AWESOME!!
    Luvvd the storyy :)!

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