MATCH FIXING!!!!

Kolkata Knight Riders are winners of IPL 5.

SRK was euphoric, the dirtiest city in India was euphoric, the rest of India were delirious as the ‘Madraasis’ didn’t achieve a hat trick of IPL titles.

All this can mean only one thing.

You guessed it,

MATCH FIXING

This is how the match fixing incident transpired.

Disclaimer : All the information below is from highly trustworthy sources with unquestionable credentials. If you do have any doubts regarding their information, you will be branded a heretic and burnt at the stake.

Now that I’ve made myself clear, let me get on with the narrative.

SRK was staying in his room at Taj Coromandel when he suddenly got an irresistible urge to win the IPL trophy.

He snuck out of the hotel and went to meet N. Srinivasan and begged him to make CSK throw the match.

Srinivasan, being the guy with conflicting interests and a known match fixer was interested. Who cares in whose favour the match is fixed? It has to be fixed, that’s all.

He thought long and hard and laid down a few ground rules.

1. Sunil Narine should not get any wickets and become the Purple Cap winner.

2. Yusuf Pathan should not do a repeat of 2008 and win the match for KKR.

3. Gautam Gambhir should get out cheaply. This is to justify Kohli’s selection as vice-captain for the upcoming ODI series.

4. There should be an Indian match winner. This to show that the IPL promotes domestic talent. SRK was prompt to suggest his water boy, Bisleri Bisla for the role.

To make it appear convincing, Srinivasan also bribed Simon Taufel and Billy Bowden.

As a parting gift, Srinivasan who has a lot of money, gave SRK 50 rupees for auto fare and sent him off.

Pictured, SRK with the 50 rupees Srinivasan gave him for auto fare.

This is how CSK threw the match.

Hussey and Vijay did not score centuries.

Raina hit less than 10 sixes.

CSK let SRK wear his coolers at night despite knowing that it was a bad omen.

CSK scored only 190 in 20 overs.

Taufel as promised, ruled a full toss a no ball even though Shakib had advanced to hit it.

Dhoni, sensing that KKR could lose did not field a man at square leg or deep square despite tossing the ball to Bravo, a fast bowler.

So there you have it.KKR won because the match was fixed. CSK fixed their way to the final and KKR went one step further and won it.

PS : This is something that has been bothering me since I first heard the name KKR. I thought I’d mention it earlier but they never did do anything to warrant any interest in them. Anyways, what the hell do you mean by Kolkata Knight Riders? Knights ride horses. Knight riders would imply creepy blokes who sit on the shoulders of knights while they charge into battle. Or it could mean a totally different thing in a totally different context. And knowing SRK, I’m pretty sure that is what it means.

 

Mamata has been showering too much love and money on the KKR team ! Here is our Diagnosis of Mamata !

Here is our article on “Why CSK is probably the BEST IPL TEAM” as of now , despite it’s last over loss to KKR !

Also , Some People have been hating on Chennai city and this is our take on it : Chennai sucks , Or does it ?

Posted on May 28, 2012, in Everything Else, Just For Laughs and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. The Whole IPL was fixed, as final was scheduled in Chennai , they need chennai to enter in to the final by fixing DC vs RCB match. & MI lost again CSK. Also note that they don’t want chennai to win the tournament. If so next year also chennai must go to final .So they decided whoever playing against CSK has to win the trophy.Luckly KKR entered to the finals.

    Note : 1) Please watch 20th over of CSK batting
    2) Please watch Jadeja fielding in the final match especially throws to wicket Kepper
    3) Look Dhoni Captaincy ( He didn’t give overs to Jadeja or Raina
    4) Refer Ashwin Spell

    Now they shifted the Opening match & finals to Eden gardens, So next year KKR will enter to the final & MI will lift the tropy.

    2013 Finals KKR VS MI (Kolkatta have huge Sachin fans also) MI will lift the cup.

  2. this is desparation speaking by sum sum pathetic csk fans…..and hw the hell do u call the dirtiest city???……and what the hell does super kings mean???…..so cut out the crap….u knw the u dont deserve to be this years champion and now making lame xcuses……and out of now where csk entering the semi finals was nt matchfixing u dumb ass,,,,,so please stop writin such horrible articles u illiterate beast…!!!!!!!11

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